i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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