So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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