1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize