Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
