Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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