There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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