oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
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We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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