DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
