we're blogging at a bar
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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