i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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