If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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