I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize