remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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