Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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