Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize