walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
