This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
