last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
All I want is dick and wine.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
