Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
