don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
