I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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