Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
