No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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