I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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