And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
