he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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