Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
