My first STD was from a foam party
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.