Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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