My first STD was from a foam party
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
