Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
