haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
