We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
