Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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