Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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