I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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