Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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