It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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