you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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