What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
