She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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