WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
