There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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