Me. At least after what I've been through.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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