windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It was confusing and full of hummus
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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