You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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