The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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