i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Shame is for Republicans.
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