No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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