Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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