this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize