He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How external is "for external use only"?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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