i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
