She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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