if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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