someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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