At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
