I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize